So many times I’ve sat at this keyboard ready to put my aching heart into words. Time and time again I dive deep, linking arms with vulnerability.
This time is no different.
You see, I thought preparing my heart to go on my big Ethiopian adventure was going to be the hard part. I did my homework. Got my ducks in a row. Asked every question. Read scripture. Talked to Jesus. Talked to Steven. And took a jump into the great unknown. Little did I realize I needed to do just as much preparing coming home.
Something happened to me while I was away. I met the Lord in a way I never knew was possible. I saw humanity in a way my dreams could only fathom. I rejoice in all the good I saw. Being reminded that we are so clearly made in the image of our Maker.
Since I’ve been home, there is a constant lump in my throat from holing back tears. Of joy, of heartache, of sorrow, of longing, of gratitude. #allthefeels doesn’t even begin to describe it. I spend majority of my day asking Jesus, “What now? Where do I go from here?” Wanting nothing more than to be a good steward of the stories and adventures He has entrusted me with.
You’ve heard me say before my heart is wrecked for the orphan, but this trip brought a bit of clarity to my stirring heart. There are millions of orphans in the world who have dreams, goals, desires, aspirations. They are not just a number in a system. They are not wallowing in self-pity. They are fighters. Fighting a battle they did not choose. I am in awe of them. Every one.
I realized I am more like them than I ever suspected. A girl who comes from a traumatic past, with nothing but hope and dreams in her eyes for the future. I live in a fantasyland. Full of rainbows and candy and all things good, trying my best to drain out the dark noise of the world. Yet strive have clear eyes to see what is really going on. I can’t look away. WE can’t look away.
Thankful for the Healer who brings absolute beauty from ashes and despair.